A Few Words on Student Superheroes

Dear Students and Parents:

I have been teaching high school English for fifteen years, and every year I encounter the following scenario:  a student does not complete a major task or fails to attend class on a test day.  When confronted, students will frequently say, "I had something really important to do" but cannot share with me what the important conflict is.

I can only assume that many of my students are superheroes.

Now, I've read and viewed enough popular culture to understand that this is a serious matter.  The teen years are especially difficult for the budding superhero -- managing secret identities, making critical costume choices, training to control those unpredictable superpowers, and -- of course -- saving the world.  And all of it must be done in secret, with only a few trusted sidekicks for help.  It can't be easy.

Some student superheroes have amazingly supportive families.  They have parents and guardians who understand the young hero's plight, and who will send in notes asserting that the student had an "important appointment" or "family emergency" that should excuse the student from the obligation of the class work.  I can only imagine the struggles and personal risk such families must embrace, knowing that a superhero lives under your roof, and that supervillains may show up on the doorstep at any time.  Your loving support of your student superhero is acknowledged.

Students, being a superhero is clearly important work, and for all of us whom you've saved without asking for any recognition, I offer our humble thanks.

However, as Stan Lee put it, "With great power comes great responsibility."  Think for a moment about superheroes who have stepped over the line, who think themselves above the law or beyond the need for human morality.  What happens to them?  That's right...they either end up utterly crushed by their arch-enemies or they become supervillains themselves.  (There is sometimes hope for a stunning reclamation of the ethical core, but this is less frequent than one would wish.)

With this in mind, I must do what I can to provide you with the ethical foundation to keep you on the right track.  I may only be one mild-mannered English teacher, but I must do my part.  As such, I will do the following:  I am holding you accountable.

Yes, superheroes...you might be battling zombies or fighting off psychic attacks or dismantling death rays...but you must get your work done for class.  If it is late, you will receive a late penalty for each day it is late.  If it is more than a week late, I will not accept it at all, and you will get a zero.  If you are absent for a test, the only reason I will accept is proof of a doctor's visit or a death in the family.

I know, this seems unfair.  After all, you must maintain your secret identity, and you must do what you can to save the world.  I get it, I really do, and I sympathize.  But understand that this is my small way of giving you a balance to avoid the slippery slope into supervillain-hood.  This is my small act of trying to save the world, by helping you.

The choice is, of course, yours.  Choose well.